Breaking: Hollywood
In an unprecedented turn of events Hollywood seems to have indicated that they are ready to put their money where their mouths are. Over the last 24 hours over 50 Hollywood celebrities have surrendered their entire fortunes to the BLM movement group as reparations for slavery. According to a Hollywood insider this is just the beginning.
“This is just the first wave,” said the insider on condition of anonymity. “Phones have been blowing up all over Hollywood about this new trend and there seems to be a consensus building among Hollywood elites to “take responsibility” for oppressing Blacks,” said the insider. There is expected to be a run on the banks in California on Monday morning as Hollywood elites rush to the banks to liquidate all their assets to surrender to BLM.
Former President Barrack Obama was elated at the news. “As you know I spent a lot of time with Hollywood celebrities during my presidency showing them the error of America’s ways but I never thought in my wildest dreams that they would ever take such a bold move as this,” said the former president.
According to the grapevine, this idea of rich entertainers surrendering their fortunes to BLM, has spread into other entertainment based areas of the economy. Sports, music, and even the pornography industry workers are pledging their entire fortunes to the BLM cause. Sharon Cox a porn starlet specializing in interracial hardcore BDSM porn stated, “Of course I’m giving all my money to Blacks I’ve given them everything else.” Fifty Cent even gave his last 50 cents claiming talent privilege.
In an interview with Bill Gates at the Seattle airport, a crack reporter from The Trump News Network was shocked that Gates knew nothing about this growing trend. When asked about his reaction to Hollywood elitists surrendering their entire fortunes to the BLM movement Gates replied, “What the fuck are you talking about? Are you out of your fucking mind? Who told you that bullshit!” At which point he was quickly lead off by his heavily armed security detail.
Sadly all the jubilation surrounding the volunteered reparations being paid out by Hollywood and the rest of the entertainment industry failed to address the real human tragedy of homeless Hollywood actors projected to be in the hundreds and thousands once all their assets are completely liquidated. One of the first people to surrender their fortunes was actor Robert Di Nero who was seen late Saturday night roaming the streets of L.A. clutching a blanket.
Between what corporations have pledged and the fortunes of most if not all of the entertainment industry BLM is projected to acquire an incredible fortune. Patrisse Cullors, co-founder of the Black Lives Matter movement said in an interview on CNN that, “We gonna have so much money we’re just gonna buy America outright and throw all the Honkeys into the ocean.”
After Saturdays re-election rally President Trump was asked about this trend. His only response was to laugh as he made his way to the presidential limo.