Don’t Get Raped

3

I was scrolling though a mess of Google images when I saw this sign that said “Don’t Get Raped” and the word “Get” and the “ed” were all crossed out. “Don’t Rape!” That doesn’t seem very helpful to me. Is a rapist going to see that sign and think “Gee ya know that sign is right I’m going to stop raping.”  Well it worked for me anyway. Ever since I saw the sign 20 minutes ago I haven’t raped anyone (I have thought of rape). Maybe there should be a law? Oh wait there are laws with some pretty steep penalties too. You see these feminist marches and inevitably you’re going to see some bare breasts and maybe more. Maybe naked women. “Don’t rape!”

Now I realize many of you young ladies have rape fantasies. Actually the vast majority of you do. You should hear some of my fantasies. Maybe another time. Be that as it may, I’m also fairly certain that most of you realize that you don’t really wanna get raped because…..well it’s fucking rape and in your fantasy….you can’t rape the willing. If you do want to be raped then speak to someone who has been raped before you set yourself up for a good barbaric raping first. It probably isn’t what you imagine it to be. Or maybe it is not judging.

But for you relatively sane females out there who really really don’t want to get raped there are a few things you can do to lower the odds of someone or a group of someones taking all your holes behind a restaurant dumpster.

The very first thing you need to do is stop dressing like a whore. We are living in a brave new world of cultural diversity and some of the more diverse people we now find ourselves co-mingling with think you’re a cum dumpster and aren’t overly concerned with whether you want to be their cum dumpster or not. Dressing in 9″ heels and short shorts or skirts with tube tops will get you raped in 99% of the world. Just because you’ve been lucky so far doesn’t mean your luck will hold forever. And of course nice guys don’t hook up with sluts for more than a weekend (or a few weeks if she deepthroats) so cut the shit.

Second, you have no business going anywhere alone. I hate to break it to you sweetheart but you’ll never be the White Canary. You’ll never be Super Girl, or Cat Woman, or Wonder Woman either. There is no situation you can get into with a man that involves physical violence in which you have a chance of walking away unscathed unless you carry a gun and even then by the time you try to get it out of the bottom of your purse he’s already on you. Always travel with a friend even if it is just around the block if you can. The odds of you being assaulted decrease drastically with 2 people as opposed to one. Quite frankly that is good advice for anyone especially men who are by far the greater victims of violence.

Ease up on the club style makeup. A lot of these club makeup styles and facials that are heavy on makeup make a girl look like a hooker or sex slave. Yes the guys love it but more often than not it is the wrong guys whose attention you’ll be attracting and some of them are predators.

Looks and the company (or lack of) you keep can be contributing factors in rape. Always be aware of your surroundings. Don’t go to a club and get drunk. Many a young lass has had her knickers pulled down behind the dumpster of the club and woke up with dried semen on her thighs and no memory of what happened. The same with drugs stay away from them or you’re gonna get “passed out sex” by strangers fairly regularly.

Yes it would be nice if men stopped raping and it would also be nice if when it rained it rained Guinness but both are pretty unlikely to occur. The odds of me standing in a street with a sign that read “Demand it Rain Guinness!” and getting my stated result are exactly the same as you standing in the street without a top on and painted boobs getting men to stop raping. With that in mind it is important to take the following prudent steps so that you won’t get raped:

*be aware of your surroundings

*don’t get high or drunk in public

*dress like a lady

*don’t overdo your makeup

*always have a friend with you

*carry a weapon

If you follow these 6 simple steps you will drastically reduce the probability that you will get raped. Being alone, inebriated, wearing nightclub makeup and showing a lot of skin is going to increase your chances of getting raped though if you are trying to get raped acting and dressing like someone who wants to get raped is no guarantee that you will in fact get raped. Unless you’re in Europe. Yeah in Europe you’re gonna get raped and raped hard.

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