New Poll: Hillary Finished


An unnamed source is indicating discontent within the Clinton camp following the latest poll regarding where Americans would like to see the Democrat Party candidate for President go. The poll conducted by TNN asked a random sampling of voters and non voters alike, where they would like to see Hillary Clinton go. With over 100 people responding to the poll a clear picture of where Mrs. Clinton stands with the American people can be found.

Out of 106 people who responded to the online poll only 1% of those who voted in the poll answered “all the way to the White House” to the question of where Hillary should go. Another 6% answered simply “away” not wanting to cause Secretary of State Clinton any real harm just wanting her to disappear to wherever. The truly telling responses were “to Hell” and “too prison”. Hell, a place of fire and brimstone that is the final home for the worst of humanity and infinity level suffering is where 16% of the voters wanted Hillary to go but a whopping 77% of those who responded wanted Hillary to go to prison.

Unverified rumors claim that when the poll was released this morning shouting and screaming could be heard from the former First Ladies private New York bunker. Nicknamed “Hillary’s Hole” the hidden bunker is said to hold Clintons new and very private internet server which she intends to make use of “here and there” for purely convenience and emergency situations. Clinton assured members of the press this past Friday that her new servers had already been approved by the NSA, CIA, FBI and Homeland Security.

But with such a large percentage of Americas believing that Mrs. Clinton serve some prison time it seems the Clintons were premature in setting up the bunkers private servers. A wiley reporter might have heard the former president Backdoor Billy mumble something about being reduced to running television cable but of course I couldn’t possibly comment on the situation. Rumors are swirling around FBI headquarters that absolutely and positively no action would be taken against Mrs. Clinton with the CIA quickly following suit. No mention of the positions of the NSA and Homeland Security at this time however TSA has indicated they agree with the inaction of the CIA and FBI.

The Trump News Network, which conducted the poll stated that all of the basic requirements for a good poll were followed during the polling process namely there were no restrictions on who could vote. The selection was random to the absolute with pollsters choosing themselves for participation rather than some entity choosing who would and who could not vote. “It was completely random,” said TNNs CEO Patrick P. McCarthy, “never in the history of our reporting experience have we ever had a more honest and fair poll based on the most random of circumstances.”

The White House could not be reached for comment.



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